2020 has been a year of stress. A global pandemic turned our lives upside down. Lockdowns, curfews and quarantines. Job losses and global recession. Black lives matter and US elections. Coping with stress isn’t easy when life seems to be falling apart!
On a personal level, it’s also been an immensely stressful year. Working in mental health has been enormously overwhelming, with more people than ever needing support. Financial decisions, such as buying my first home, in the midst of preparing for exams and then living between homes while renovating has been nothing short of a stressful rollercoaster.
I have had to let go of the familiar, the comforts of a predictable routine and the relatively quiet life I was leading a year ago (read more here).
And yet, I’ve learnt that coping with stress is like riding a wave.
The wave goes up and you panic and get that sense of being carried. You feel powerless and weak against the strength of the ocean. You go up and everything seems to be happening so quickly.
What can you do?
If you try to fight the wave, you’ll only end up drowning yourself or expending energy aimlessly. You have to surrender to the wave, trusting that it will crash eventually and then bring you back to the safety of the shore.
But in the meantime, it’s extremely frightening. So here are some practical strategies to cope with stress.
1. You can survive the wave
When we are in a stressful situation, we might forget a fundamental truth: we are strong enough to cope. We have the tools, resources and strength to get through the situation. A little game I play with myself is called: what is the worst that can happen? This is a game based on rationalisation, so it might not work with people who suffer from extreme anxiety. But, I find this a helpful thought exercise to analyse the worst thing that can happen in a situation, and rationalise that in the grand scheme of life, I can survive whatever it is.
2. Put up your hand for help
Even though we can survive the wave, it helps to have a professional lifesaver on hand to chuck us a float or pull us out of the rip. In this stressful time, I’ve been grateful for friends who have stepped in to help, even without being asked. I’ve learnt to say no to some extra commitments, because I can’t be everywhere at once. I’ve asked colleagues for support. I’ve debriefed with friends and my supervising psychologists. I only wish that I’d asked for help sooner! (Check out some helpful resources here)
3. Reexamine your relationship with stress
A little bit of stress in life is a good thing. As human beings, we perform most productively and accurately under a bit of pressure. Our brains get a hit of the stress hormone cortisol which helps improve our energy, alertness and even immunity.
Stress shakes up the monotonous patterns of our life and often the most stressful situations in life like getting married, having a child, moving house or changing jobs, are the most rewarding. When I’m under stress, I know I am being challenged in some way. And from that challenge, I will grow as a person, becoming a better version of myself (read here).
I hope these tips provide you a different perspective on stress and help you to ride the wave out.
