It’s been getting colder lately, and darker earlier too. Little daily life things seem just a bit more difficult – getting out of bed in the morning, finding the motivation to exercise, doing the groceries, replying to messages or meeting deadlines for work and study. Even watering my plants and doing the dishes seems to take a lot of energy!
And yet, I’ve also been feeling really happy. Let me explain…
While my last blog post was all about embracing fantasy, I have been reflecting that it’s also good to embrace reality. The reality of life is a lot of hard work and responsibility. Being an adult means you have to take care of yourself, and often others too. You live with the consequences of every late night, every unpaid bill and every bad decision. It can all be very overwhelming! And so we have to find ways to cope with reality so we don’t sink into cynicism or depression. We have to find the beauty in the everyday and the motivation to keep going. Here are some of the ways I’ve been coping with reality lately.
Novelty
While routines can be helpful, too much repetition can make life very boring. One way I’ve been coping with reality lately is by introducing some novelty. While novelty doesn’t necessarily mean buying a new car or getting a tattoo (although it could!) it does mean opening yourself up to fresh, new experiences and people. A spontaneous getaway, a night out dancing or learning a new skill are all great ways to find a little freedom and maximise the fun in life.
Novelty can also be in a professional setting too. For example, this year I started working with children for the first time, which at first was utterly terrifying but has quickly become a huge source of joy and satisfaction. Talking to these little people and seeing the world through their eyes has given me a new passion for child psychology. We should all be craving novelty, because it does help us to grow and gives us fresh eyes.
Mindfulness
When it comes to mindfulness, deep down I’ve always been a sceptic. While I could see the benefits of being present-focused and the calmness of mindfulness meditation, it just didn’t seem like an effective solution for the difficult stuff in life. But lately I’ve been thinking that mindfulness is a great way to cope with reality.
Mindfulness can be like a narrator in our everyday lives, giving us a little distance from the judgements and negative emotions that weigh us down. For example, when I’m making breakfast, I try to focus on every little action- pulling up the blinds to let the light in, pouring out the steaming coffee, the sound of the toast popping, the crunch when I eat and so on.
When I’m in a mindful state I’m not in my head worrying, feeling negatively about my job or anxious about my to-do list. I simply am. And it feels kind of good to just be present, an observer of my reality without being in my reality. Of course, this kind of mindfulness doesn’t last very long – but it does bring some peace to my mornings, and I find myself using it when I need to ‘get stuff done’ that I might otherwise dread or avoid in everyday life.
Shared Experiences
One of my friends and I have a little routine where we message each other what we are cooking for dinner. It’s a silly little exchange, but it makes a mundane, everyday activity more of a shared experience. Simply a chat with your barista at the local café, a smile with someone on the train or a walk with a friend are just little ways to open our lives up to others and feel a little more connected.
Perhaps we can learn a little from the Gen Zs who addictively send each other memes, just to share a laugh. We all crave that shared experience, knowing that our lives are not that different from one another, and we’re a little less alone. I truly believe it’s a good thing to talk, share stories and even the little moments with one another and create a shared reality.
So these are just some of the approaches I use to cope with reality. It’s true that life can be tough, but when we make sure to have a little fun, keep some perspective and lean on each other, we start to better enjoy our realities!
