Self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight. Often the journey to becoming a self-confident person is a bit like two steps forward and one step back. Depending on the situations we are in, the people around us, the stressors we are facing and our self-esteem levels, our self-confidence can shift and change.
For example, on the first day of a new job, your self-confidence levels might be a bit down, as you make mistakes, cope with the overload of new information and adjust to a different environment. However, if you are a person high in self-confidence, you will be able to overcome these difficulties with a resilient mindset, positivity and even a sense of humour.
Self-confidence is like the armour we put on to fight our battles in life- it protects us from negative comments, challenging situations and even our own self-doubts. Keep reading to find out how to build your self-confidence armour, and wear it every day to be the strong and powerful person you want to be!
Strengthen your mind
Often, the nasty things that can really affect our self-confidence, like doubt, self-criticism, anxiety and negative thoughts, are all occurring in our heads! So, we need to learn to strengthen our minds to fight the fears and anxieties that knock our self-confidence- and remember that these are our thoughts, not reality.
There are so many ways you can learn to strengthen your mind. My preferred ways are prayer and meditation. On my commute to work in the morning, I strengthen my mind these ways to prepare for the day ahead and also cultivate a positive mindset by reminding myself of all the things I have to be thankful for too.
If someone makes a negative comment to me during the day, rather than dwelling on that comment I think about the difficulties that person must be going through, which made them say something unkind to me. I acknowledge the hurt their comment caused me, take a few deep breaths or talk it through with someone, then I wish them well and try to let that comment go.
By doing so, I put a limit on how much value I give that comment and what that person thinks of me (click here to find out how to do this). Like any muscle, we can train our minds to become stronger, and pay less attention to the negativity that can impact our self-confidence.
Speak honest words
Easier said than done, right?! Speaking honest words can be really tough, especially if we know that they might not be received well, or might hurt someone else. But, a common characteristic of self-confident people is that they are not afraid to share their honest opinions and truths. Unlike people-pleasers (read here) self-confident people understand the value of honesty, as it is reflective of someone who is authentic and secure in themselves.
A self-confident person is also able to be honest with themselves. For example, if they know they have made an error, they are able to honestly admit to that error and apologise to someone. Similarly, if they feel someone else is at fault, they are able to honestly share their feelings directly to that person, rather than privately hating on them and bitching behind their back.
Self-confident people are also comfortable in asking for help, as they know this is not a reflection of their own competencies or self-worth. As a result, their honesty often leads to success, as they draw on resources around them to get the job done!
Share your strengths
Self-confident people are not narcissists, but they do know their own worth and aren’t afraid to share their gifts. For example, a person high in self-confidence who knows that they are particularly good at technology might offer to help someone struggling with a tech-issue. Or, someone who is gifted at social interactions might facilitate social gatherings and introduce people to each other.
A self-confident person will also be willing to rise to challenges like applying for a promotion, because they know their strengths and that they can cope with the risk of rejection as well. Finally, a person high in self-confidence is able to offer validation to others, for their strengths. They speak encouraging words, and remind others of their self-worth too, rather than putting them down or trying to take the spotlight. It’s all about sharing!
Present yourself in the best way possible
Self-confidence isn’t about looking good- but it can be about presenting yourself in a way that makes you feel comfortable in yourself (read here). I know my self-confidence is helped by making the effort to dress up for work and doing my hair and makeup every day. Even so, I still feel confident when I’m in my gym clothes and sweaty from a workout session. However, when I’m put together I do feel like the best version of myself, which is important in a work setting where I’m meeting clients, running presentations and interacting with other professionals.
Feeling like the best version of yourself might just be a shower and wearing your favourite band t-shirt from high school- but if that works for you, then you will still feel that boost in self-confidence!
I hope these insights into how to build your self-confidence helped you! Remember, its all about sharing the amazing person you are with the rest of the world, which is liberating, satisfying and exciting! Comment below what you do to boost your self-confidence 🙂
