We are at a turning point in history.
A spotlight has been put on racial discrimination, a global pandemic turned our lives upside down and international issues like climate change and inequality have been on people’s minds.
Change, on both a global and personal scale, is in the air.
Although the #MeToo movement raised awareness for the way women are treated in the workforce, much less talked about is the way that women treat other women. And from my perspective, there don’t seem to be many changes in this area.
Being a naturally competitive person, I began reflecting on the ways that I treat my female colleagues and other women in my life. I wondered if I have been doing enough to support these women, and how they have shown support to me.
It got me thinking about some of the common issues that women experience when relating to one another. Although we are generally great conversationalists, listeners and mostly agreeable and kind, are we actually supporting each other?
Barriers to women supporting each other
In psychology and economics, there is a term called the ‘scarcity mindset.’ The definition of the scarcity mindset is the belief that there is not enough to go around, or only a limited number of a resource. The scarcity mindset is dangerous because it leads to fear and competitiveness.
If everyone believes that only one woman can make it to the top of the corporate ladder, then women will fight and compete to get there. If, instead, everyone accepts that more than one woman can occupy a position of power, then that changes the way that women relate to each other.
Unfortunately, a scarcity mindset sometimes happens because there are genuinely limited opportunities for women to hold leadership positions in a company. This means that the women who actually do make it to the top are treated with resentment, jealousy and judgement.
I have actually heard women describe other women in important working roles as “in a bad mood, so they must be on their period,” “bossy” and “emotional.” In fact, those phrases were frequently used to describe Hilary Clinton when she was running for presidency.
Interestingly, these comments do not relate whatsoever to the work performance or competence of that woman, but rather attack her personality or gender.
When women support other women, incredible things happen.
Equally bad are women who are in successful leadership positions who, because of the scarcity mindset, are afraid of losing those positions to other women. This leads to mistrust, fear of sharing success and reluctance to give opportunities or responsibilities to other women. Of course, this puts younger or less experienced women at a disadvantage, because they are unable to learn from more mature people in the industry.
So how do we break out of this negative pattern, perpetuated by the ‘scarcity mindset.’ Here are my tips for what women can do to start supporting other women.
1. Change the language
Let’s stop the negative talk against other women. It could be in the form of gossip, put-downs, insults or passive–aggressive comments, but all of these behaviours contribute to the culture of women viewing each other as enemies, rather than supporting each other.
If you genuinely have a problem with a female colleague or friend, then the most effective way to address that is by talking to them, rather than talking about them behind their back.
Also, I believe that women should get more comfortable with giving each other validation and compliments. Show your support by encouraging your female colleague when she achieves her goal, complimenting your friend for working on her health and supporting your female contacts who are trying to start businesses or put themselves out there.
2. Consider mentoring
If you happen to be a woman in a successful or powerful position, then consider yourself a role model for other women! Mentoring is a great way that you can inspire a younger workforce and help less experienced women trying to break out in that field. Mentoring can be a structured initiative, such as joining a program or simply a coffee catch-up with junior employees. Share your success story and your advice, and pay it forward to the next generation.
3. Support female initiatives
Having recently joined Instagram, I have been overwhelmed with seeing all the amazing initiatives that young women have started. In particular, I’m incredibly proud of my sister, who recently founded the Catena Apparel community, which supports young women in postgrad life, as they take their first steps into the workforce.
I also love shopping from female owned businesses, such as Beauty and The Boutique, founded by the lovely Katie, who infuses her beauty products with positive messages for women. And I’m surrounded by talented, creative girlfriends making art, music and jewellery lines. Be proud of other people’s success, and do what you can to support these initiatives.
I hope these insights inspired you to be more supportive of the women in your life. Because when women support other women, incredible things happen!
